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fic

Fic: Love Is A Hard Waltz [Lavender/Seamus, NC-17]
OMG! I wrote het. This is my first real stab at writing het, and was written for wook77 for hp_springsmut
Title: Love Is A Hard Waltz
Rating: NC-17
Pairing(s): Seamus/Lavender
Summary: Of falling and falling in love
Warnings: Parallel timelines
Word Count: 9,100
Author's Notes: Wook had requested the following things, which I tried to incorporate into the fic: romance, exploration of Lavender's injuries, a believable seventh-year fic about those left behind, kissing and OMG!more kissing. Lavender's family history has been completely fabricated.

For a moment, time stood still. She was falling, her wand clattering to the ground below her. She opened her mouth and screamed.

+++

"Lavender. Lavender."

"Is she going to be all right?"

"No. She's not going to be fucking all right. Look at her."

"What happened to her?"

"Just get someone. Now."

"Miss. Miss, can you hear me? Miss."

"Lavender. Don't do this. Lavender. Fuck. Open your eyes. Lavender, please."

"Wait. She's coming around."

+++

One didn’t think about dying when one was a frivolous eighteen-year-old girl more obsessed with boys than politics, not that there was anything frivolous about the last nine months of Lavender's life. Hogwarts had been a war zone ever since that September day she stepped onto the Hogwarts Express and was greeted by a trio of Slytherin girls, their wands out.

It had only been cheap insults, then. Lavender was pureblood, her mother one of Lucius Malfoy's distant relations. Not that she or her family really believed in that blood purity nonsense, but she could certainly hold her own against that ridiculous cow Pansy Parkinson.

Besides, Parkinson couldn't throw a disarming spell if she had to save her own life, and the look on her face had been priceless when Lavender's Leg-Locker Curse hit its mark.

Harry taught her that, she thought with pride as she hustled away.

Ginny finished the job with a Bat-Bogey Hex, and that was that. They'd have a laugh about it later once they reached the train compartment where the rest of Lavender's friends were waiting. Except there wasn't much to laugh about when she found them, Seamus looking unusually grim, Parvati with her arms wrapped tight around her sister's shoulders.

"Shut the door," said Neville, and Lavender did.

"Dean's gone, Harry is still missing, and no one's seen Hermione and Ron," said Seamus.

"But--" Lavender started. Surely she had expected Harry to be absent, but the others? She supposed she shouldn't have been surprised. After all, Ron and Hermione had never been far from Harry's side, yet Lavender was having a hard time imagining a school year with half her House missing. What would Seamus do without Dean, and what of Ron, her erstwhile boyfriend? She caught Ginny's eyes and recognized the look of worry on her face. Already school seemed like an afterthought, Quidditch and Hogsmeade weekends, mere trifles, as she turned back to Neville, unsurprised to discover that he was the one they were gathering around. "So, what happens now?" she asked.

"We stick together," Neville said. "We don't let them down."

No one needed to ask who them was.

"We won't," Lavender replied, as the train pulled out of the station. She caught Seamus' eye as she sat down across from him, the train gathering steam toward Hogwarts. She swore she saw a hint of a grin there.

+++

If one doesn't think about dying, then one doesn't expect to survive a fall from several meters down onto a stone floor either, but Lavender did, barely. Her memories of the moments after her fall were of chaos and fear: the yellow-eyed werewolf baring his teeth -- ready for the kill, the man with glasses who had saved her (whom in her delirium had called Harry, even though he had blond hair and a lean, handsome face), and Seamus.

How appropriate, for Seamus, for better or worse, had been the one constant her entire seventh year.

Seamus had knelt beside her as the man (not Harry) poked and prodded her with his wand and announced that they had better get her to St. Mungos. NOW. The front of Seamus' robes were stained with blood, and there were tears in his eyes. He told her he was sorry.

She had no idea why he should be sorry, and she grasped his hand moments before everything faded to black. Somehow she knew he would keep hold of it.

+++

"A kiss," said Seamus, walking three steps behind. "That's all."

"A kiss?" Lavender laughed at his audacity. Seamus could be such a boy sometimes. They rounded the corner near the Transfiguration classrooms.

The school year was all but a month old, and Seamus had already moved beyond mere admirer to outright flirt. She always knew he had a crush on her. He did ask her to the Yule Ball, after all, but his attentions had grown so bold it attracted the notice of his teachers, most noticeably Amycus Carrow, Hogwarts' new D.A.D.A professor.

To Lavender's horror, Seamus' punishment for talking to her during lessons wasn't polishing Quidditch trophies, but the Cruciatus curse, demonstrated in front of the entire class.

The experience had taught Lavender the lesson of keeping her eyes glued to her desk and mouth shut. For Seamus it had only made him bolder.

"C'mon. You know you want to," Seamus wheedled. Lavender stole a look over her shoulder. His eye was still black from last week's scrap with Malfoy. Still, he gave the outward appearance that he had nothing more to worry about than whether or not she would snog him here or later in the common room. "Ple-e-e-ase," he said, drawing out the word as he caught her gaze.

It was no use. Lavender was smitten. "Why on earth would I want to kiss you?" she asked, stopping near the stairway. She crossed her arms in front of her chest.

Seamus bent down to whisper in her ear. "Because you love me?" He grinned as he drew away.

"Ha!" she said, spinning on her heel and walking away. It was nearly curfew, the corridor empty, and the only sound the ring of her heels hitting the marble floor. She thought they really should be getting back.

"Okay, you like me," Seamus said, chasing behind.

Lavender stopped. She bit her lip unable to stop the grin threatening to overtake her face.

Seamus grasped her by the hand and pulled her around. "Yeah?" he said, drawing closer, his other hand finding the curve of her neck. His hair had grown long over the summer, giving him a rakish and slightly dangerous air, even though she knew in her heart that this was the same Seamus used to hide Neville's frog inside her book bag and make loud farting noises in Snape's potions class.

"You're mad," she said, her heart skipping in her chest. For some reason she was shaking.

Seamus pulled her into a doorway, angling her so that her back was against the wall. "We’ve done this before, you know," he said.

"That hardly counts, and you mauled me," she said, remembering the Yule Ball and Seamus luring her into the courtyard for the sole purpose of sticking his tongue down her throat. "And we got caught, remember? And I had to endure McGonagall's mortifying lecture about preserving my womanhood." That had blessedly been the end of her dalliance with Seamus. He was too immature, too boy-ish, and she had caught the eye of older Ravenclaw, who in the end was no more mature, but she had by then ceased to give Seamus another thought. At least, until now.

He just seemed different, somehow.

"Did it work?"

"Did what work?" Lavender murmured, staring into his eyes.

Seamus drew closer, practically pressing her back flat against the wall, his breath tickling her cheek. "Did it preserve your womanhood?"

Lavender burst out laughing. Okay, maybe Seamus hadn't changed, but so what? Hogwarts had become an unbearable place. Was she so shallow that she wanted something to take her mind off of it? She took a breath and smiled. "All right, fine," she said, rolling her eyes. "One kiss."

"One?" Seamus lifted his eyebrows.

"One," Lavender returned, smirking. She leaned forward, pressing her lips against Seamus' mouth. She had kissed enough boys to know what they liked, and he let out a gasp when she squished her large breasts against his chest as her tongue slipped inside his mouth. His left hand dropped down her side, skimming the outside of her thigh. When she felt his hand tug the hem of her skirt she drew away, biting her lip.

They both stared at each other, the color on Seamus' cheeks turning a hot shade of pink. Lavender thought it endearing. She could feel herself grinning.

Seamus cleared his throat. "We should go," he said, taking her hand.

Lavender nodded, walking toward the stairs, before coming to an abrupt halt. She wasn't sure why she had a change of heart. Perhaps it was her lack of enthusiasm for the unfinished essay waiting for her in the common room on the merits of using Confundus Charms to control Muggles or her own feeling of giddiness. "One more," she said, reaching to palm Seamus' cheek and kissing him once, twice on the lips. His body went slack as she pulled him close.

Lavender heard a rude noise and drew away just in time to see Malfoy and his two goons at the top of the stairs.

"Well, look it here," said Malfoy, strutting down the steps. "Young love. How sweet."

Seamus' grip on Lavender's hand tightened. "Go fuck yourself. Unless you want me to give you another broken nose."

"No, not interested," said Malfoy, stopping at the foot of the stairs. He looked at Lavender. "You do know it's after curfew?"

"If by a minute, and we were just leaving," Lavender snapped, giving him a look of absolute disgust. She couldn't believe Malfoy expected her to pay attention to him, family relations or not. "Come on," she said to Seamus, moving to step around him.

"Not so fast, bitch," said Crabbe, stepping forward. Lavender noticed too late that his wand was out.

"Don't talk to her that way," Seamus spat, as he let go of her hand and reached for his own wand. At once there was a flash, and Seamus' wand flew from his hands, landing in the corner behind Goyle.

"Finnigan. I'm disappointed. Simple defensive magic. I thought Potter taught you better than that," Malfoy drawled, his wand pointed at Seamus. "I wouldn't do that if I were you," he told Lavender, eyes on her right hand.

Lavender stopped in mid-movement, her fingers inches from the handle of her wand. She looked at Seamus and saw him shake his head. She had to admit it rankled. "Why? Too afraid to duel me when I'm armed?" Lavender said, lunging for the wand inside her sleeve and pointing it at Malfoy. She swore she saw his face pale, but that was only moments before she was suddenly, forcibly grabbed by the elbow and thrown against the wall.

She hit the wall hard. Stunned, she dropped to one knee, her wand falling from her hand, and she heard rather than saw Seamus launch himself against the Slytherins, obscenities flying from his mouth. However, it was quickly apparent he was no match against two boys the size of water buffaloes, and it was with the sickening sound of boots and fists connecting with Seamus' body that Lavender was picked up off the ground, her elbow twisted painfully behind her back. Crabbe's wand pressed to her throat, Lavender could only watch, helpless as Seamus lay moaning on the ground, his face a bloody mess.

It was just minutes ago that they were snogging. Lavender couldn't believe what had just happened.

"You bastards," she spat.

"Shut up," snapped Malfoy.

Seamus looked wobbly as he tried to get up on his knees, his arm clutching his ribs. "If you hurt her, I'll kill you. You know I will," he wheezed.

Malfoy ignored him, turning to Lavender. "Going to stay out after curfew again?" he said.

"Fuck you," said Lavender.

"Malfoy, I swear. I will kill you," said Seamus, still on his knees.

"Shut up," Goyle snapped. "Need to be taught a lesson?" Lavender watched with horror as he raised his wand. "Crucio." he cried.

"NO," Lavender screamed, as she tried to pull herself out of Crabbe's iron grip. Tears streamed down her face as she watched Seamus writhe against the floor, hands clawing at the air, as he screamed in pain. "Stop. Please," she sobbed.

And it was to the sound of Lavender's sobs that Goyle finally ended the curse, Seamus lying on the ground, whimpering. He made no effort to get up.

"Let her go," Malfoy said. He nudged Seamus' hip with his boot.

"But --" said Crabbe.

"Shut up," Malfoy snapped, turning back to Lavender. "Get out of here now."

Lavender looked down at the floor where Seamus was still lying, his body curled up, hands covering his face. She couldn't just leave him. She looked back at Malfoy. It wasn't right. She shook her head.

Malfoy raised his wand, pointing at her. "Run. Now," he shouted.

She ran.

+++

Lavender woke up in a plain white room. The man in glasses who she had last seen in the Great Hall tending to her wounds was still by her side. He straightened up the moment he noticed she was awake and gave her a smile. "Miss Brown. Welcome to the world of the living."

His name was Daniel Abbott, a Healer-in-training, who had returned to Hogwarts on the eve of the battle along with his younger sister, Hannah. He had saved her life. He was also handsome and tall and exactly the sort of boy Lavender always fell for. She couldn't be more disinterested.

"Your friend," Daniel said. "He's outside, waiting."

Lavender nodded. She couldn't talk. There was a tube stretched down her throat, and her arms and legs were stiff by her sides.

Perhaps Daniel recognized the look of panic growing on her face. "Do you know what happened to you?" he asked, adjusting his glasses.

Lavender thought about the last thing she remembered. Chaos, smoke filling the hallways and classrooms, curses firing in all directions. She had lost track of Parvati, and Seamus was screaming at her to get off the balcony. She ignored him, running toward the Death Eater she saw hurling curses down to the floor.

And then. She blinked, eyes suddenly wet. She fell.

"You fell," Daniel said for her, and Lavender nodded.

He sat down on the edge of her bed. "Miss Brown, You're a very lucky girl. You're quite broken."
He patted her gently on the leg. "Don't worry. You're in good hands now. Soon you'll be as good as new."

Lavender had an inexplicable desire to punch him.

When Lavender woke up a second time, she was screaming. Everything hurt. "Stop," she begged, as a woman in tight gray curls poured black liquid down a tube attached to her arm.

"It's for your own good, dear," she said, patting Lavender on the shoulder. "Skele-Gro."

"Bitch," Lavender yelled. "Cunt." She never used words like that before the war started, before she spent a week with boils spelled over her face for being tardy to Muggle Studies. Always the perfect pretty princess, until eleven-year-old Emmy Bell stumbled into the Gryffindor common room covered in welts.

"Language," tutted the Healer, drawing her wand from her starched white sleeve. "We are in a hospital, not Knockturn Alley. You will behave accordingly, and you will be quiet." Her wand swished through the air, and once again Lavender fell into darkness.

When Lavender awoke a third time, she found her mum sitting by her bed, a wilting bouquet of flowers on the nightstand and a warm breeze gusting through the open window. The calendar hanging on the wall opposite her bed said June 2.

It had been a month and a day since Lavender's fall.

"Thank God," Azura Jouhet Brown declared. "You're awake. I was this close to fetching Prince Charming from the waiting room."

Lavender blinked at her.

"That Irish boy."

"Oh." Lavender's voice sounded rusty.

Azura pursed her lips, and Lavender noticed that she looked like she hadn't slept in days, her hair, usually coiffed in elaborate curls, hanging limply at her sides. "Was he worth it?" her mother asked.

Lavender wasn't sure.

+++

Time passed slowly. Lavender had more bones to regrow, a damaged spine to repair, and scars to heal, but not completely fade. She had visitors, friends from Hogwarts who sat by her beside and talked effusively about this and that, who then would tell her they were sorry, and then they would leave.

Lavender couldn't understand why everyone was so sorry until her ten-year-old sister, Ruby handed her a mirror. "I think it makes you look interesting," she said with all the optimism and naiveté of a young girl who had yet to spend any significant time in the company of teen-aged boys.

Lavender touched her cheek. There was a line cut across her pale skin from her left eyelid down across her cheek to her lower lip. It looked like a fissure, like her face was about to crack and fall apart. It was almost the color of wine.

Tears prickled Lavender's eyes. "Seamus?" she asked, turning to face the window. She could hear an owl hooting from one of the rooftops.

"Should I fetch him?" asked Ruby.

"No."

+++

"Your boyfriend's here again," said Ruby, rushing toward Lavender's bedside. Her other sister Jade, two years Lavender's senior and looking bored already, followed behind.

"Ruby, please," said Azura, hefting her handbag onto the chair by the bed. "This is hard enough as it is." Jade rolled her eyes as she sat down by the window.

Lavender glared at them all. "Seamus is not my boyfriend."

Jade smirked. "Since when?"

"Since never," Lavender snapped. "It was just a thing."

"A-huh," said Ruby, leaning on the railing of Lavender's bed. "That's why he keeps sending you flowers."

"Those are from Neville."

"Not that ugly thing," said Ruby of Neville's beloved Mimbulus Mimbletonia plant sitting beside the bed. The roses over there." Ruby pointed at the vase of dozen roses sitting at Mrs. Dibble's bedside. The old woman was feeble and dying. Lavender thought giving her the flowers was the least she could do, considering Mrs. Dibble had to endure the ravings of Lavender's lunatic family.

"Oh fine. Whatever," said Lavender, glaring at her little sister. "I just don't want to see him, all right?"

"It's just as well, Lav," sniffed Jade. "You look awful."

"Jade." Azura gave her a disapproving look. "She's right, though. I'll have my hairdresser Floo in tomorrow."

Lavender sighed. "That's not necessary."

Azura shrugged, sitting down next to Jade. "Susan Bones owled. I told her to come by next week after you've finished regrowing your bones. Harry Potter also sent along his regards. He misspelled Jouhet, by the way."

"Mum, everyone misspells Jouhet," said Ruby.

"That's not the point. It's my family name. It shows a lack of manners."

"Because that's so important after he saved all of our arses," Ruby snapped back, already showing a stubborn Gryffindor streak. To the surprise of no one, Jade had been sorted into Slytherin.

"Language, Ruby," said Azura. "You're just as bad as your sister here, and look where that got her. She may never walk again."

"Oh mother, don't be so melodramatic," said Jade, behind the latest copy of Witch's Weekly. Harry was pictured on the cover, looking broody and heroic. "The Healers said she would be fine. Just a few ugly scars."

Lavender shut her eyes. She immediately missed the Carrows.

+++

The side of Seamus' face was mottled with bruises as he slipped back into the common room shortly after midnight.

"Where have you been?" Lavender cried, watching him collapse onto one of the sofas.

"Goyle again?" said Neville, running up behind her.

"No. Alecto Carrow. Finally gave her the slip though." He grinned, and Lavender could see that he was sporting a missing tooth.

"Seamus," she scolded.

"I'm fine," he snapped, and Lavender felt the same twinge of irritation whenever his attention turned back to Neville. She hated it when they both got like this -- like outrunning Death Eaters was a sport. "Lucky for me, Ernie Macmillan got caught breaking into the kitchens," he told Neville.

Neville made a face. "Poor bloke."

"Neville, I did it. You have to see," said Seamus, getting back up.

"Wait. Where are you going?" said Lavender, watching him.

"'Dumbledore's Army.' Big letters. Right in front of the Great Hall," said Seamus, gesturing with his hands.

"No." Neville looked incredulous.

Seamus grabbed his arm. "Come on."

"Wait," Lavender cried, watching Seamus and Neville race for the portrait hole. "You can't go now."

Seamus turned around. He was grinning again, showing off that damned missing tooth. "Why not?"

Lavender balled her fists in frustration. "You're not supposed to be roaming the corridors at this time of night. You know that."

"Nah. The Carrows will be busy with Ernie until morning," said Seamus.

"It's fine, Lavender," said Neville. "I'll look after him."

Lavender gaped at Neville. What had got into him? "Then I'm going with you," she said.

"Sorry," said Seamus, he held out his hand so she couldn't pass. "You could get hurt."

"So?" She clenched her fists again.

"Can't risk it," said Neville.

"I'm not a stupid girl," she shouted after the portrait hole closed.

+++

Seamus wasn't grinning when he limped into the common room a week later, his arm held gingerly at his side. "I think it's broken," he told Lavender after she had hurried over.

Lavender shook her head. "Why?" It was the only thing she could think to say.

"Who the fuck cares why?" Seamus snapped, slumping down onto the sofa.

"Fine," Lavender said, gritting her teeth. She was tired of this. So bloody tired. Hogwarts was no longer a school. It was a house of horrors. No different than the freakish stories Alecto Carrow shared in her Muggle Studies class. Lavender took out her wand and began transfiguring her homework into a roll of bandages. It was all the good it was for anyway and she knelt down in front of the sofa.

Eyes shut, Seamus looked in obvious pain, his body curled up around itself, his arm swollen and purple. Lavender pondered calling for Professor McGonagall, but quickly decided against it. Lavender had watched with increasing frustration at what little her professors did to stop the Carrows' abuse. With Snape as Headmaster, Lavender knew there was no one else she could turn to. She would probably only earn herself detention.

She lightly touched Seamus' cheek. "I think I can fix this," she said when Seamus cracked open his eyes. "I don't have Skele-Gro, but I've been practicing healing charms with Parvati, and I think I can set your arm and take away some of the pain."

"I knew I loved you for a reason," Seamus murmured, eyes falling shut again, and Lavender flushed, her wand stopping in mid-movement.

Lavender found herself grinning despite the situation. "You're delirious," she said.

"Probably," Seamus replied. "I'd like to kiss you again."

"And that worked out so well the last time."

"Please."

Lavender could only shake her head. "Fine. Later."

"Promise?"

"Yes, I promise." Lavender rolled her eyes. "Now shut up so I can do this."

Healing charms required a lot of concentration, something Lavender hadn't always excelled at, as Professor Flitwick was so fond of pointing out, but she reminded herself that this was important, more important than mastering unlocking spells and levitating feathers. She narrowed her eyes as she traced her wand from around the edge of his elbow to his wrist, careful not to press too hard as she murmured the incantation. To her immense relief the charm appeared to be working. Seamus' arm no longer looked as swollen and his skin was turning a healthy shade of pink. Still, she didn't have the skills to completely heal the break, and there was the matter of fashioning some sort of sling. "Can you sit up and remove your shirt?"

"Want to see me naked, do you?" he said, waggling his eyebrows as he unbuttoned his shirt, clearly feeling better. Funny, how she used to find his teasing annoying.

Well, still annoying, but just not as offensive. "I didn't mean it that way. If you want me to heal your arm--" Lavender made a frustrated sound and glared at him. "You're not helping."

Seamus grinned. "Would a kiss help?"

"No," Lavender snapped, her face hot. "Your shirt. Off."

That had been a mistake for Lavender found herself staring at Seamus' bare chest, her eyes level with his left nipple. Lavender quickly gathered the transfigured bandages into her arms, reminding herself that this was hardly the time and the place. "I'm going to make a sling for your arm now," she told him, winding the bandages around his shoulder. Somehow by Merlin's good grace she managed to fashion a sling similar to the one pictured in her copy of 101 Cures For The Common Wizard despite her eyes lingering on his hardened nipples (there was a draft, she told herself) and his broad shoulders (all the better to cling to). She gave him a him a stern look when she was finished, (not focusing on the flat plane of his stomach and the trail of hair disappearing down under there). "Now. Are you going to be more careful?"

"Are you going to give me that kiss?" Seamus returned, raising his eyebrows.

"Seamus. I'm serious." That, she was.

"Come here." Seamus reached for her hand, and Lavender climbed onto his lap, taking care to avoid his injured arm. "Hi," he said, as their foreheads touched, Seamus reaching to tuck a loose strand of her hair behind her ear, his fingertips moving to linger on her jaw.

"Seamus."

"Hey." He pressed his thumb against her lower lip. "I promise I'll be more careful. Okay?"

Lavender nodded.

Seamus' hand moved to caress the side of her face. "I don’t want to talk about this anymore. Do you?" he asked, his voice barely registering above a murmur, and then after a frantic moment they were kissing, Lavender's mouth falling open as his tongue slid inside. Seamus moved, shifting his weight, and Lavender fell back against the seat cushions, Seamus kneeling on top of her, his hand touching her left breast.

"Can I?" he breathed, tugging the top button of her blouse.

Lavender thought she would probably regret this. Anyone could walk in. Still, her skin prickled with excitement as she undid her blouse, exposing her lace bra. Seamus' reaction didn't disappoint, his eyes widening as she arched her back and undid her bra next, and then settled back against the seat cushions, smirking.

Seamus hesitated, but only for the amount of time it took for a grin to split his face before reaching to touch her bare breasts. "Wow," he said, growing bolder, squeezing and gently pinching her nipples, Lavender's back arching as his hand slid down her belly, skimming her waistband and then back up again. He squeezed her left breast again and bent down, sucking her left nipple into his mouth.

Lavender gasped, her hand moving to his thigh, squeezing, her other hand stroking his hair.

Seamus grinned around her nipple. "You don't know how long I wanted to do this."

Lavender swallowed, watching his tongue work wicked patterns across her skin. "What took you so long?"

"I didn’t think you liked me."

Lavender smiled at that. "Maybe you shouldn't think so much."

Seamus looked up and kissed her on the mouth. "You're going to be trouble, aren't you?"

Lavender sniffed. "Not bloody likely."

"I think you are," he replied, sitting back up. He tugged her shirt closed over her breasts.

Lavender stared at him. "Wait. You're stopping?"

"Don't you think I should?"

"No!"

"Lavender, we can't--" Seamus looked pained. "I don't want you to get hurt."

Lavender sat up and buttoned her blouse. "Fine. You started it, and you get to decide when to stop. Makes sense to me." She stood up and began toeing on her shoes.

"No. I just think we should slow down."

Lavender didn't say anything when Seamus reached for her hand. "It's not that I don't want to," he said. "It's just a bad time."

"A bad time," Lavender repeated.

Seamus laugh was mirthless. "There's a war going on, you do know that?"

"The war. I'm so sick of this bloody war," she yelled.

Before Seamus could retort the portrait door swung open, and Neville and Ginny stepped inside the common room.

"Interrupting anything?" asked Neville, peering at them.

"A lover's spat, I think," said Ginny. She was smirking, and Lavender shot her a nasty glare.

"Not," said Seamus.

"I'm going to bed," said Lavender, stalking toward the dormitory stairs.

"Wait," said Neville. "Don't go yet. We found something."

"Not something. Someone," Ginny interjected.

Lavender wondered why she should possibly care. "So?" she snapped.

Neville turned to Seamus. "Remember the barman from the Hog's Head?"

Seamus shrugged. "Yeah?"

"He's Dumbledore's brother," said Neville.

"The one that fucks goats?" Seamus asked.

Ginny rolled her eyes. "He doesn't fuck goats. Never mind, that's not important. We found a tunnel to the outside. He said he could help us."

+++

After convincing herself that she would never see Seamus again, Lavender woke up one morning to find him sitting beside her hospital bed, a bouquet of pink flowers resting on his knees. His hair was clipped short, his robes tailored and his shoes were shined. Lavender had to blink a few times to make sure it was really him.

"Hullo, stranger," he said.

Lavender just stared.

Seamus cleared his throat. "I working now," he said her, gesturing toward his clothes. "For the Ministry. Percy Weasley put in a good word for me."

"Why are you here?"

The grin fell from his face. "I wanted to see you."

"Why?"

Seamus paused. "Is this a trick question?"

Lavender closed her eyes. She didn't open them again until he was gone.

+++

He was at her bedside the following morning, and the morning after that, clutching yellow flowers and then violets. It was all so terribly earnest

Lavender had had it with earnest.

"You can stop with the flowers," she said, sitting up and summoning her pink dressing gown. "I just give them to Mrs. Dibble anyway."

Lavender hadn't meant to be cruel, and she immediately regretted her words. Seamus' shoulders sagged, the bouquet summarily banished into the rubbish bin in the corner. "Sorry," he said, rising to his feet. "I won't bother you again."

"Seamus. I didn't mean it like that."

"It's hard not to take your rejection any other way," he said.

Lavender took a breath and then said, "I suppose you wouldn't understand."

"Try me." Seamus sat down on the edge of her bed. He reached to her face.

"Don't," she said, jerking away.

"Why?" Seamus looked honestly perplexed, and Lavender loved him a little more for it.

Lavender picked at her blanket, pulling on a loose strand of yarn. "You should move on. Everyone else has."

"I don't think --"

"Look at you. You look so normal. It's like you're not even the same person."

"Should I pick a fight in Knockturn Alley and get myself roughed up?" He grinned.

Lavender made a face at him. "I don't need you."

"I think that's where you're wrong."

+++

Christmas was the typical affair of bitchery and hurt feelings. War waged elsewhere, but in the Brown household it was the exact same holiday as it was every year. Azura hit the champagne early, the goose was overcooked, and Great Uncle Albert insulted the French. Only Ruby made for pleasant, if annoying company. There were presents from the Patel sisters, a flowering Puffapod from Neville, and Seamus sent a card. A card. It went without saying that Lavender immediately threw it into the fire.

"You expect too much of him," Jade said as the two sat on the floor with Kipper, their overfed spaniel, both watching the holiday drama unfold.

"Me? You're the one in a snit because your married lover chose to spend Christmas with his wife and kids."

"Will you shut it?" Jade glared at Lavender. "I'll never hear the end of it if Mum finds out."

Lavender watched their mother teeter into the dining room; Dibs, their house-elf scampering behind, carrying another bottle of champagne.

"Besides," continued Jade. "He's Irish. What do you expect?"

"Right, because our family is so classy."

+++

The morning Lavender returned to Hogwarts, her mother begged her to stay home. "I've heard the stories," she said. "Mrs. Donaghue told me her thirteen-year-old nephew was crucio-ed for being late for supper."

"People exaggerate. Everything is fine," she lied as she tucked two books on Advanced Healing Charms and Wizarding Medicine into the bottom of her trunk.

Azura may be many things. Stupid was not one of them. "I hope this boy is worth it."

Lavender really wished Jade would keep her mouth shut. "This is not about a boy, Mother." She locked her trunk tight and slid her wand back into her sleeve. "This is war."

+++

It was not all hexes and bloody noses. Lavender sat on the floor of the Room of Requirement and watched Parvati watch Neville teach defensive spells to a group of hapless Third Years.

"You're drooling," said Lavender, amused.

"Am not," said Parvati huffily.

Lavender gave Parvati a long look. "Neville?"

"Shut up."

"I see." Lavender was grinning.

"He's --" Parvati looked momentarily at a loss. "Different. Now."

"Right."

"He's got nice hands. Strong."

Lavender stared up at the House banners hanging from the ceiling. "Why didn't I see this coming?"

"You've been too busy trying to pretend that Seamus doesn't exist."

+++

April found Lavender lying in her hammock, idly fingering her fake Galleon when it suddenly began to glow. She sat up and looked across the room. Except for the flickering torch in the opposite corner, signaling the location of the toilet, the Room of Requirement was cloaked in darkness, its occupants asleep. As no one else appeared to be stirring, she looked back at her Galleon, confused, when out of the corner of her eye she saw something, and she looked back up. There was someone standing near the entrance. He held up something bright in his fingertips. It was another Galleon.

"What do you want?" Lavender asked after she silently padded over.

Seamus feigned a look of nonchalance as he slipped the Galleon into his pocket. "Couldn't sleep."

"So you wanted to talk?"

"Not really."

"I see." Lavender crossed her arms in front of her chest.

Seamus fidgeted, stubbing his shoe against the floor. "I mean we could talk if you wanted, but I had something else on my mind."

"Yeah, I'm getting that impression. I'm not --"

"Come with me," Seamus cut her off, taking her elbow, pulling her toward the wall. "Please."

"I'm not --" The wall melted, and they slipped through to the other side. The tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy emerged out the shadows. "Seamus, we can't --" she hissed. She didn't even want to think what would happen if they were caught wandering the corridors this time of night. "Seamus."

But Seamus was already three steps ahead of her. He was carrying a broom.

"Wait," she cried as loudly as she dared before hurrying to catch up.

"When was the last time you went outside?" said Seamus, stopping in front of an open window.

Lavender peered outside, shivering in her thin pajamas. It had been weeks ago. Lavender remembered the large puddles of melted snow that made navigation difficult as she had picked herself across the school grounds, and how she had got mud all over her shoes. "You were with me," she murmured, recalling the two of them making their way to Hagrid's hut and discovering, with an air of inevitability, the hut locked tight and the words ENEMY OF THE PEOPLE painted across the front door.

On the way back they had encountered Snape glowering at them as they mounted the school steps. "Miss Brown," he called after her. "I'd be more careful if I were you."

She stared at him, uncomprehending, Seamus lingering a few steps away.

"The company you keep," Snape snapped. "Your mother --"

"My mother," Lavender repeated.

Snape had said nothing more, and Lavender discovered her interest in venturing anywhere outside the confines of the common room or her classrooms to be greatly diminished, and she soon stopped going to classes all together. When she and Parvati had made their final trek to the Room of Requirement, their belongs shrunk inside their pockets and a line of first and second years following behind, she saw no reason to leave.

She was fairly certain Seamus was disappointed in her.

"You okay?" Seamus asked now, interrupting her thoughts.

Lavender nodded as a gust of wind ruffled her hair. The air smelled faintly of rain. "I don't know if this is a good idea," she said. "What if--"

"Just once over the lake."

Lavender's stomach dropped as she peered over the window's edge. She wasn’t much of a flyer.

"Don't worry. I won't let you fall," Seamus said, the press of his chest warm against her back as he eased her down onto the broom and climbed on behind. "Ready?" he whispered, wrapping his arms around her waist.

Lavender could just make out the shoreline of the lake in the moonlight. How she longed to hear the water lapping along its edge.

Why not? She let out a laugh and wrapped her hands around the broom handle, and seconds later they were flying, soaring above Hogwarts as they shot into the night. Lavender's heart pounded in her chest as they flew over Hagrid's hut and the Quidditch pitch and then out over the lake, Seamus content to let her steer. The village of Hogsmeade loomed in the distance, but she didn't dare go near, for it was too tightly guarded, and she nudged the broomstick back around instead and looped back toward the castle, halting near Gryffindor Tower. Her giddiness ended seeing the darkened windows, not because its residents were asleep, but because the tower was empty, the last of its occupants filing into the Room of Requirement days ago.

Hogwarts had become nothing more than a fortress, waiting the final battle.

"We should go back," Lavender said, depressed and longing for the overcrowded safety of their hiding place.

"No." Seamus hands covered hers as he urged the broom closer to the window. With a flick of his wand it popped open and they both sailed inside, landing with a soft plop on the common room floor.

"Seamus, I don't think--" Lavender started as the fireplace roared to life, lighting the room in an orange-hued glow and bringing the over-stuffed sofas and chairs out of the shadows. It was as if nothing and everything had changed, and she half-expected to see Harry tumble through the portrait hole, red-faced, wearing Quidditch robes, the Golden Snitch held aloft in his hand. Even the lion sewn into the tapestry hanging behind Seamus' head seemed to be winking at her.

Seamus sensed it too, taking her by the hand. "There is still magic in these walls, yeah?"

Lavender nodded, and let Seamus pull her into his arms, grateful for his shoulders to rest her head upon. She hadn't realized how tired she was. She had often wondered how different their relationship would be if this had been an ordinary school year, and her greatest trial would be preparing for her NEWTs not being held prisoner and abused. But then she had been so foolishly besotted with Ron last year, would her behavior with Seamus have been any different had the war not broken out? She was certainly not the same person who stepped onto the Hogwarts Express last September, but who was?

"What do you think will happen to us?" she asked, as heavy drops of rain began to pour in through the window they had left open.

Seamus pulled his head away and gave her a wry smile. "We'll survive, of course."

With some relief, she let out a nervous laugh, even though she wasn't quite as confident as he. "You're sure?"

"Of course, I'm sure." He twirled her around and tipped her backwards, and she began to laugh, a deep and throaty laugh only Parvati or her sister, Ruby had any luck drawing out of her. How ridiculous she thought they must look, she in her pajamas and Seamus in his torn and dirty school robes, dancing like they didn't have a care in the world. Seamus continued twirling her around, until they both collapsed onto the sofa, laughing.

They should go back. The rain would provide them cover, and it was still dark, but the fire was warm and Seamus' proximity was doing weird things to her insides. It was as if a flock of wood nymphs had lodged itself inside her chest, and it put her on edge. Seamus, on the other hand, looked completely at ease, body slouched against the sofa cushions, his eyes falling shut. She had to ask herself what she was so afraid of.

"Seamus." She turned toward him, touching his cheek. His face was so bruised, she worried about touching him, but he didn't flinch. On the contrary, he leaned into her touch, Lavender's breath catching in her throat, as he turned his head to press a single kiss into the center of her palm.

Relief rushed through her, soon to be replaced by something else as Seamus' tongue darted across her skin, licking the inside her hand. Oh, she thought, a quivering sensation growing inside her groin. Moments later, Lavender was straddling his lap, his growing erection obvious when she pressed against him, the heat between them stifling as she struggled to work open the buttons of his robes. His mouth was on her neck, his breath hot against her skin, as his hands slid under her pajama top, squeezing her bare breasts.

"On the floor. Let's," Lavender gasped, as they teetered on the edge of the sofa, and they both tumbled to the ground, the buttons of Seamus' robes pulled open down to his navel as Lavender climbed on top of him.

Seamus gazed up at her. "Are you sure about this?" he asked, tugging off the band that tied back her hair, and it fell loose around her shoulders.

"I'm practically molesting you, of course I'm sure. Besides, if something happens --"

Seamus grasped hold of her hand. "Nothing is going to happen."

"We don't know that," Lavender insisted. "We could all die tomorrow."

"Is that what you think?"

"I think-- Yes," she admitted. "I just have a bad feeling. I can't shake it."

"I think you've been spending too much time with Professor Trelawney," Seamus retorted.

Lavender wrenched her hand away and sat up. "Fuck you." She pulled her pajama shirt closed.

"Hey, don't get like that." Seamus got up and knelt down beside her, his hand stroking the nape of her neck.

Lavender glared at him, but didn't push him away. "You mocked me."

"I'm sorry. Really." He drew closer. "I promise. Nothing is going to happen--"

He didn't continue. Lavender was kissing him again, long and languidly, her tongue thrusting progressively deeper into his mouth, grateful for the distraction. Emboldened, she pulled Seamus' robes off his shoulders and pushed him back down onto the carpet, climbing on top of him. She bent down and licked a trail around his left nipple, and he jerked beneath her and cried out.

"Tickles," he cried, his hands tangling in her hair.

She grinned and sucked his nipple into her mouth and gently bit down.

"Oi! You're going to kill me," he gasped when Lavender sat back up and pulled off her top.

"Oh no," she teased, bending down so that he could touch her breasts. "You promised to keep those nasty Death Eaters away, remember?"

Seamus bit his lip, clearly fixated as he circled his fingers around her nipples, before taking a breast in each hand and squeezing. He looked up. "You do know that I love you."

Lavender's breath caught. She nodded.

He tweaked her nipples and grinned. "Just checking."

She bent down, her hair falling around his face. "I love you, too."

He touched her chin. "We'll be okay, you know that?"

Lavender let her eyes fall shut as he pulled her into another kiss, not wanting to think about what was going on outside this room. "I wish I could believe that," she admitted, pulling away.

Seamus grabbed her wrist, pulling her back down. "Can we talk about something else?" He flashed her a mischievous grin

"Okay." Lavender matched his grin with one of her own. "What do you want to talk about?"

Seamus raised his eyebrows. "Coming."

Lavender burst out laughing. "You're never going to change." She paused, regarding him. "Alright," she said, snuggling into his arms.

"That's my girl." Seamus' hands traveled down to her arse, squeezing her cheeks as he ground his erection up against her cunt. They both gasped, and he did it again.

"Is this what you had in mind?" Lavender said, sitting up and reaching to unbutton his trousers. She eased them off his hips, freeing his cock, erect and leaking at the tip.

"Jesus," he choked out, as soon as she grasped hold of it. She squeezed, pulling down the foreskin, and letting her thumb drag over the slit, smearing pre-come all over the head. "That-- that'll work," he gasped, watching her crouch down. She stuck out her tongue and let it drag along the tip of his cock, before taking it all way into her mouth. Seamus wasn't her first -- she had lost her virginity at age fifteen to a Ravenclaw Jade had brought home for a visit, which probably said a lot more about Lavender's views about sex than she cared to admit -- and she knew what boys liked. Seamus squirmed beneath her as her tongue worked his length. Once he started to moan, she pulled off and sat back up, not wanting him to come so soon.

Seamus blinked at her, his mouth slack. "Mary Fiona never did that."

Lavender frowned as she pinched the fleshy part of his thigh. "Who?"

Seamus grasped both her hands, pulling her up and flipping both of them over, his erection pressing against her stomach. "No one. Just someone at home," he said, grinning against her mouth. "No one you need worry about."

"Good," she said, shivering as Seamus' tongue licked the underside of her ear. "I don’t want to hear you say that name ever again." His hands had already found the waistband of her pajamas, was tugging them down off her hips and plunging his hand between her thighs.

"I promise." Lavender could feel his grin against her neck, as his fingers brushed against her clit and she gasped, bucking her hips against his hand.

Seamus sat up and tugged her pajama bottoms the rest of the way off. Lavender shivered, bereft of her clothing and feeling oddly vulnerable as he knelt down between her legs, his fingers stroking the skin of her inner thigh. There was something almost reverential about his touch, and it made her both uneasy and desperately giddy.

She shut her eyes and tried not to think. It wasn't hard to do once she felt the tips of Seamus' fingers brush against her clit again. She gasped and opened her eyes.

"If you'd rather… sleep?" His eyebrows were raised as he fingered her cunt.

"Shut up, Seamus," Lavender snapped, out of breath. She wondered he had done this with that slag, Mary Fiona and then his tongue was on her clit, and she wasn't thinking at all.

It was such a sight, watching him eat her, her knees bent, legs spread wide. It felt amazing too, pressure building between her legs as his tongue lapped at her clit, one finger and then two fingers pushing inside. It was too much and not enough, her hand pressed against the back of his head. "Don't… stop," she gasped, her back arching off the floor, and then she broke, her knees clenched around his ears as she rode her orgasm out

It was to the sound of pouring rain that Lavender finally opened her eyes. She stretched out her legs and watched through half-lidded eyes as Seamus rooted through his things. He pulled something out of one the pockets and sat down, tearing open the foil wrapping.

Lavender snickered. "I see you came prepared."

"Always come prepared," he said, winking at her. Nonetheless, he dropped the condom on the floor, his hands shaking.

"Here, let me." Lavender picked it up. "Don't be nervous," she said, kneeling in front of him as she eased the condom onto his prick.

"Who's nervous?" Seamus said, watching her.

Lavender kissed him long and hard before settling back down on the floor and spreading her legs. Seamus crawled on top of her, his cock nudging her entrance and Lavender gasped, feeling it brush against her clit, still sensitive from her orgasm.

"Okay?" Seamus asked, hesitating.

Lavender nodded. She laid a hand on his hip, squeezing. "Make love to me, Seamus. Please."

He shut his eyes and pushed, and Lavender gasped again when he breached her. They were both breathing heavily now, Seamus' skin slick with sweat as Lavender wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him deeper inside her.

They managed a rhythm, Seamus whimpering, his sweaty fringe obscuring his face, but it didn't take long before his thrusts grew more uncontrolled. Lavender reached up, hooking her arm around his neck, kissing him on the jaw and whispering, "I love you" into his mouth. He pulled all the way out and thrust forward once more and came, moaning into the curve of her shoulder and collapsing on top of her.

A log in the fireplace crackled, sending up a shower of sparks, and Lavender closed her eyes, curled into Seamus' neck and drifted off to sleep.

+++

Someone was shaking her awake.

"Wake up. Come on, Lavender."

Lavender opened her eyes and sat up. She peered into the semi-darkness. "Jade? What are you doing here?"

Jade shrugged, her expression unreadable. "Let's just say you owe me." She threw something black onto the bed. "I brought your cloak."

Lavender stared at her as she reached for her cloak. "Are we going somewhere? What time is it?"

"Dreadfully early, and yes."

Lavender looked past her sister and saw that the corridor leading out to Night Healer's station was empty. Mrs. Dibble was softly snoring in the next bed. Lavender turned back to Jade. "I'm not going anywhere with you unless you tell me what's going on."

Jade put her hand on her hip. "I told him you'd be difficult."

+++

Lavender gingerly put her weight on her left foot and gasped.

"Hurts?" asked Jade, holding her up by the elbow.

Lavender clenched her eyes shut. "Fuck, yes."

"If Mum hears you talk like that, she'll hex your hair blue."

Lavender glared at her before taking another step. "I'd like to see her break every fucking bone in her body and hear how she talks then."

"All the same if we don't hurry, we're going to get caught," Jade hissed. "Let's go."

Lavender nodded and took another step. Daniel had been trying to get her out of bed for the last two days, insisting she was ready, and now look at her. She had managed ten steps in five minutes, the corridor outside still achingly far away. "I don't think I can do this," she cried, stopping again, her legs shaking.

"Lavender. You can. Daniel told me you should have been out of bed a week ago, but you've been so depressed that he didn't want to push it."

Lavender stopped and peered at her sister. "Wait. When did you get so chummy with Daniel?"

Jade's face hardened. "Why? Are you going to fuck him too?"

"No!" Lavender replied, aghast. "Are you?"

Jade smirked. "Already have."

"You've been fucking my Healer?" Lavender took another step.

"A-huh."

"Does Mum know?"

"Did you see the Bridewitch magazine she was carrying around yesterday?

"Oh no. Has she already set a date for you two?" Somehow they had reached the Healer's station, which Lavender was curious to see empty.

"She's picking out frocks at Madam Malkin's."

Lavender came to an abrupt halt, no longer listening. "You're all in on this," she said, seeing Daniel and Seamus standing next to each other.

Seamus looked sheepish. Lavender saw that he was holding a broom. "I thought you might like to go for a ride. It's nearly sunrise."

"So you brought along my sister and my Healer?" Lavender wasn't sure why she was so angry.

"Lavender, don't be such a pill," Jade snapped.

"Because you're not the one being coddled and lied to and pitied," Lavender lashed back. Hot tears prickled her eyes that she had no desire to wipe away.

"Lavender." Seamus was squeezing her arm. "We love each other, yeah?"

+++

Smoke filled Lavender's lungs as she scrambled up the marble stairs, curses firing around her in all directions. A Death Eater and Professor Sprout were dueling to her right, Sprout sending vines shooting from the tip of her wand that twisted around the Death Eater's legs, pulling him off his feet as Lavender reached the next landing and looked around. She spied Susan Bones hurrying down the steps toward her, a gash on her forehead. "Have you seen Parvati?" Lavender called to her, as a Stunning Spell whizzed past, hitting the wall behind them and sending a shower of masonry down atop their heads.

"Dunno," Susan cried over her shoulder before disappearing around the corner.

Lavender wiped the dust and sweat from her eyes and took another step when she heard someone call out her name.

It was Seamus. He was running up the stairs two at a time. "Lavender, where are you going?"

"I can't find Parvati. We were supposed to stay together," she cried.

Seamus opened his mouth to speak when an explosion rocked from below, and the staircase Lavender was standing upon suddenly began move. Lavender scrambled to hold onto one of the balustrades as it swung around, her feet dangling over the edge. "Seamus," she cried, her eyes clenched shut before the staircase lurched to a halt. She took a breath and let go and discovered she was standing on a balcony that overlooked the entrance hall, Seamus still where she had left him on the other side.

"Wait for me," he called up to her, before scrambling down the stairs and across the hall.

"I'm fine. You worry too much," she cried back as a hex flew over her left shoulder. She ducked and turned and saw a Death Eater hiding behind one of the arched columns. He raised his wand, pointing it toward a group of unarmed students huddled by the front door. She jumped to her feet and ran toward him, her wand out.

"Lavender. Don't go up there. Stop!"

"Oh my God," she gasped as the floor suddenly disappeared beneath her feet, her wand falling out of her hand.

She screamed, time slowing to a stop and then…

+++

"Oh my God," Lavender screamed, her eyes clenching shut as Big Ben hurled toward them. Seamus banked and then rolled, gliding the broomstick over the Thames, the murky water catching the reflection of the sun's morning rays.

"I told you to hang on," Seamus called.

"You bastard," Lavender cried. He was laughing and she pinched him on the ribs. At least he hadn't insisted she sit in the front this time, her stomach wouldn't have been able to take it.

Seamus guided the broom under one the bridges where they stopped, hovering over the water. "We should go back," he said. Already Lavender could hear the heavy rumble of automobiles rushing above them, taking their owners to their jobs in the City.

Lavender squeezed her arms around his waist, loathe to let go. "Once more, she said.

"The Muggles'll see," said Seamus.

Lavender propped her chin on his shoulder. "So."

"That's my girl, Seamus said, urging the broomstick forward. With a scream, they shot into the sky.

-fin